A Rainy Night

It’s almost 2 o’clock in the morning.

It was still raining. I looked out the window. I could see lights from two or three windows. I couldn’t see the sky because the tall buildings were hindering my vision. From a very small opening in my window I could only see very few things. There was one street lamp; standing tall and alone and fighting the darkness as the sentinel of the night. The raindrops were only visible under the street lamp.

A sweet scent of rainwater and mud wafted through the window. It was indescribable. Sweet, gentle and cool air.

I could hear the whistle of the night guard from afar. How does it feel to be on duty on a lonely sad rainy night? I wonder. Maybe he walks along the streets holding an umbrella and a stick, or maybe he smokes a puff or two!

I couldn’t hear any dog barking or cat mewing.

I was engulfed by a blanket of sadness, but I didn’t know why. Was it because I was thinking how I am playing a three way tug of war with the real and the fantasy world? Perhaps I didn’t want to live in the harsh reality, didn’t want to let go things or people I love most, didn’t want to let a beautiful TV series end because it gave me a new world to escape to from the pain and hardship of the real world?

But still everything ends. I am not married but still the thought of death parting a married couple apart saddens me to no ends. Everything seems valueless when I think of the moment I will have to leave everything behind.

What is the meaning of life? Are eating, sleeping and reproducing the only thing to do as a living creature? Then why am I a human being in the first place? Why a human is human?

Well, maybe there is an answer to my questions. Maybe someone has already figured them all out. But until I realize them myself there is no point in just reading from the book.

I patiently wait until the time comes when the Almighty Lord will give me guidance.